Change

The phrase 'be careful what you wish for' keeps coming to mind right now. I don't want to be careful though, I want to wish wish wish and have it come true, and to be able to deal with the ramifications of my wishes, which is what I'm doing right now.

Recent changes:
1) My father passed away last weekend (obviously not one of my wishes!)
2) I have told my workplace that I am taking compassionate leave for one week but will not be returning after that
3) I begin house sitting next weekend and have the opportunity to keep house sitting for a long time, as long as I don't mind packing up my belongings every couple of months to move to a new sit.

I have wanted to leave my job for 2 years and have wanted to live alone for as long as I can remember. Suddenly, within the course of one momentous week, these things are mine.

Now, of course, comes the nagging fears.
1) I won't have any money
2) People told me I was so good at my job: what if I'm not good at anything else
3) What if I'm crazy and ungrateful and nothing good is going to come to me
4) The biggest one: what if people don't like what I'm doing. What if I'm not good enough?!

Basically, with freedom comes fear, because you know longer know what's ahead. I need to be ok with this. The world is big, the opportunities are immense, I love and at the same time am terrified of my new situation.

But the situation is what I've been asking for (let me stress again, I don't mean my father's death). I am free, the world is open, I will be ok no matter what happens. I will trust the shakti!