• I have been observing my thoughts in relation to my father’s illness a lot, and I can see that I am able to consider what is happening without too many unhelpful emotions jumping on board. He only has a few months to live, at best.
• My view of death has changed through studying yoga. Instead of anger at the world, cigarettes, whatever, and angrily yelling at the universe I seem to realise that although he is my father and close to my heart, his body is a body and it doesn’t matter what he has done or what he ‘deserves’ but his body is breaking down and that is the reality. It’s not a punishment it’s just something that happens when the body can’t go on anymore
• I watch others reacting to the news with sadness, of course, but with an accompanying fury and a hope that they can change things. For me, there is a level of detachment and I can ask openly about how he feels and what he thinks of the state he finds himself in. There is some kind of okay-ness about how things are going to go, because things are what they are no matter what any of us want.
• When he asked me how I feel, I related how all I know is that we can only live moment to moment and not compare how we find ourselves now to how it was before or what could be better than this.
• There is no guilt with the way I feel either, which is nice and surprising. Considering this is one of the biggest things to ever happen in my life, to be able to deal with things in a rational way is, to me, amazing
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Hey Bee,
ReplyDeleteCheck out "The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying" - it's an amazing resource.
It's great that you are able to see a tough situation from a Yoga perspective. But don't forget that to be a Yogini is to fully feel your emotions, as they are part of this human experience. The rational is only one part of it.
Strength!
Om, shanti, shanti, shantihi.